Thursday, December 9, 2010

Ah... The Hectic Life!

Apparently it's been too long. James reminded me of this. But let it be known that I am still super busy. (I spend all my free time talking to him.)



Anyway. Today is the LAST day of classes this semester. I'd give three huzzahs, but I'm not free yet...

In one of my classes, we watched An Inconvenient Truth followed immediately by The Great Global Warming Swindle... and OH MY HECK there are SO many problems with both films. Both sides are guilty of propagating lies to put forward their agenda.

For problems with the first, the Wikipedia article on the court case is pretty informative.

And for problems with the second, there's this video...

And, of course, Google either one, and you'll find more attacking both of them. Just for fun, here's a kind of amusing Saturday Night Live clip...

(Random side note: I was curious about how many of the science professors at BYU believed... and it turns out that the ONLY science professor who doesn't believe that global warming is real and caused by human beings is an anatomy professor. Interesting. Not sure what it means, but there it is...)

I am so mad that this issue has been SO politicized that I can't make heads or tails of it. RAR.

Anyway. Besides being rather saddened by this, I've been swamped by other homework assignments...

I got my gold American medal. YAY! So yeah. It's offical. I can dance the cha-cha, West Coast swing, waltz, and tango in a most sexy manner.



However, I did get a majorly humongous bruise. It's been a week, and it's changing colors, but it is still gross.



Although... to be honest, I think it's kind of cool since I learned about the biochemistry of bruises recently. I could tell you the name of the compounds responsible for the blue color, yellow color, green color, red-brown color... all of it.

Wedding plans spice up my life a little bit.



It turns out that BYU prohibits wedding receptions in any Provo church buildings... so we'll be having our reception up in Bountiful. Okay, that's fine. Closer to the Salt Lake temple, anyway.

The reception is basically just going to be a shindig. Pizza, dancing, and minimal decorations. Maybe balloons... but helium is expensive. Streamers? Whatever. Anyway, we'll limit the receiving line to an hour... so that James and I dance a bit, too. YAY!

Announcements are coming along fabulously. I highly HIGHLY recommend Megan Geilman (megan.geilman@gmail.com) for help in designing... she is great. Over Christmas break we'll stuff 'em in envelopes. Wooooo...

In other news... I got a jury summons for Arizona for December 20th...



Obviously, I can't go. I'll be in Pennsylvania meeting in-laws. I am planning on a 6-foot snowfall on that day because I want to build a snow fort/igloo with James. We'll need all the prayer-power we can get for a snowfall that big.



So... yeah. But they wouldn't disqualify me despite the fact that I don't LIVE in Arizona. Because I'm a student, I'm viewed only as a temporary non-resident... and thus I will not be disqualified because as far as the government cares, I'm coming back to AZ. Gah.

So, the loophole? I postpone until March. Then I get another jury summons. Then I postpone again. By the time I get another jury summons, not only will I be graduated, but I will be living in Oregon with my James. THEN I can be disqualified. Yeesh.

In the meantime, I get to take FINALS.



Easy finals? D&C, Western civilization 1, Western civilization 2...
Hard finals? Biochemistry, physiology, cell biology...
Done finals? Only dance. Sigh.

I'll be busy. After I grade the final, I will no longer be a chemistry TA. Sadness of days. I will miss it... a little.

Anyway, THAT is the update on my life.

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Heroic and Mysterious Benefactor of Biochemistry

I came to biochemistry today expecting a normal class... as long as Dr. Wood showed up. Last Friday he injured himself doing a demonstration in an earlier class, so we hadn't seen him. Dr. Watt had substituted last minute, but of course, he wasn't really prepared. So class last Friday was incredibly boring, and we were all hoping that Dr. Wood was back.

And he was! He was here, but had one arm in a sling underneath his dress shirt. The hand from his injured arm was poking out of the button part of the shirt, and the dress shirt arm hung limply by his side. He started class by apologizing... "I'm not... 100%."

About ten minutes into class, the door opens.

In walks a pizza guy, carrying a tall mass of pizza. He looked kind of bewildered when we looked at his inquisitively. We burst into laughter.

"Is that for us?" asks Dr. Wood.

"Is this... W140 BNSN?" answers the pizza boy, shifting uneasily.

The room bursts into laughter. "Yes!" "Yay!"

"Is there a name on it?"

"Er... no..."

The room bursts into more gleeful laughter.

"Is it... paid for?"

"Yes."

The room erupts in joy.

Well, the pizza boy finally decided that his job was to deliver the pizza to W140 BNSN. So he unloads seven boxes of pizza, and leaves.

By now, of course, class concentration is BUSTED. We are all overwhelmed by the sweet aroma of pizza...

Dr. Wood attempts to continue teaching. He doesn't get very far when his outline of glycolysis... looks... like a pizza. We burst into laughter again.

The TA comes in--apparently the department office has no idea about the pizza. After hearing this? MORE JOY.

Unclaimed pizza!

Could it get any better?

Yes. The pizza boy returns--with MORE pizza. By now the pizza is piled sky high at the front of the classroom. The class is as close to rioting as may be possible for a docile BYU class of biochemistry nerds. Dr. Wood is fearful he may get another arm broken.

We are all uneasy, more concentrated on the pizza than on the lecture material. Dr. Wood shifts around uneasily. "At what point exactly do we have to decide to eat it or not?"

Whoops and joyous yells from the class.

Just when the tension was highest, an important looking old man from the department walks in.

"Apparently this is an anonymous gift to you because of your broken arm."

YESSSSSS! says the class.

"We've called around and nobody is claiming it. It's all yours."

YAAAAAAYYY!

The important guy steals a slice and leaves. The pizza is passed around, and we eat happily. Some regain concentration on the lecture material... but most do not.

Nevertheless, today was AWESOME.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Latest Wedding Plans

We have our engagement photos up! So yeah...
Here are all of them!



I found a dress... But actually it will be poofier because that model isn't wearing the poofy slip underneath. Lame.

And the bridesmaid dresses... royal blue and silver, as below!



Except my sisters are silly and well... Rebecca just HATES dresses. I think Jessica just HATES royal blue or something. But they both kind of like black, so I thought MAYBE if they just got the same dress, but in black, they might like it better. It would be totally acceptable two have two blue bridesmaids and two black ones. :)

I don't want a cake. I just want lots of awesomely tasty CUPCAKES.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Death By Stress?



Yes. Yes, I am.

See... Here's the scoop:
1. I'm ENGAGED. So any and all free time is with James... (Not that I mind too much, but hey, it IS a time commitment.) And then there is wedding planning to do.
2. He's moving to Oregon in SIX days. And that will be an emotional trauma. Probably.
3. I squished as many classes as I could into my schedule so that I could graduate faster and then go marry James sooner. SO. I've got 17 credits. And 6 credits are civ credits... which MEANS I need to read 2 novels (at least) every week, write 3-4 papers every week (at least), and watch one classic film every week -- just for those two classes. I still have 5 other classes besides those two... including a few senior level science classes. Heeeeeeh.
4. I also have two jobs. Two! I am a stockroom assistant... and a chemistry TA. So I come onto campus at 8am everyday... and since I have 5 evening classes... I usually don't come home until 8:30pm.

So yeah.
I'm going to DIE.
Although I am surprisingly calm and collected and rather not stressed-ish. Woo!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Wedding Planning?!

That's right. The strange truth is, I am LEGITIMATELY making wedding plans. I mean, like many girls, I've made "plans". But this is for REAL!

ANYWAY.

We officially have a temple date: April 23, 2011 in the Salt Lake Temple. I'll be getting endowed just before.



I know -- that's FOREVER away, but it really is the soonest date possible. James is going off to grad school in Oregon, but I need to finish my degree here at BYU...

So. On April 21-22, I'll be graduating. Con mucho gusto.



Then on the 23rd James and I will get MARRIED! EE!

We went to look at rings on Tuesday. We found out that I am a size 4.5 and I found a ring that I fell in love with. And today we're going back to look at specific sapphires (I would rather have a sapphire than a diamond) and then... I'm not sure. But I'm closer to getting a real ring. That fits. I'll post a picture when I get it. :)

Other than that, I have officially found a wedding dress I'm in love with. I LOVE IT. I'm not going to purchase it quite yet... (And I hoenstly don't care about the whole groom can't see dress before wedding thing. WHATEVER.)



This is so weird.

The Story So Far

[This is the story I am emailing to people upon request.]

We're engaged!

As I've mentioned to many of you, James Dilts and I met in our advanced social dance class. Unfortunately, we didn't really get to know each other that well throughout the semester. In fact, I kept forgetting his name, and he kept accidentally calling me Laura or "I know your name isn't Laura, but..." Still though, I noticed him because he was particularly fun to dance with. So, on the last day of class, I asked him to dance with me for our triple swing final.

We ended up talking a ton before we tested, and James proceeded to ask me on a date and get my number. Score!

So, the following weekend James took me rock climbing for the first time ever. I was pretty nervous, because I don't learn physical skills. In my observation, I'm probably in the 5th percentile. (Okay, so I'm probably not THAT bad. But nevertheless, I was still a little nervous.) To my relief though, James was quite patient with me while I was climbing. (To be honest, she was faster and better than a girl I had just took the week before, though. ~James) The first wall I tried was too hard for me, but then the second was better. I made it all the way to top -- at the expense of all my strength. After that my arms were shaking. So then we went to Jamba Juice, and talked some more... And well, there were no more plans after that. Sad. I wasn't ready to end the date yet. Thankfully though, James suggested we watch a movie or something. YES! So we went back to my place to watch Back to the Future. Then he had to go to work. (Night jobs are lame. Just FYI.) Before he left he said something along the lines of "call me."

And, strangely enough, I decided that was a good idea despite my extreme dislike of telephones.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the way you look at it) he called me first. After I got home from work on Monday, he called and asked if I wanted to come play four-square. Yes. Yes, I did. So I came over and we all (James, lots of his friends, and I) played until it was time for FHE... at which point I decided to accompany James to his because my ward hadn't made any FHE plans for the new term. So we all went up to a park, and everybody (except me -- I was already in a lot of pain and the four square had aggravated it) played ultimate frisbee. It wasn't long before James stopped playing and came to sit with me. We talked some more and ate cookies and popsicles... Hm. I think I like this guy. At some point he offered to come over Sunday to make me biscuits and gravy. Um, yes. After FHE I stayed over at his place to talk until midnight. I went home pretty happy.

The next day, to my surprise, I received a call the next day -- it was James. He asked me to go kite-flying on Saturday. I accepted. Only problem was... well, Saturday ended up not being so great on the weather side of things. There was a weak breeze that soon died down and was replaced by sleet. So, change of plans.

Bowling! I got to show off my ridiculously horrible bowling skills and he broke 100. After that we went back to my place and watched Episode IV of Star Wars. I originally wasn't sitting very close to him, but then my phone went off. I got up, answered it, and then I replaced myself on the couch. Right in his arms. Woo! (I sure wasn't going to complain about this one! -James)

On Sunday before he came over, I talked to a friend. He'd recently been trying to introduce me to all the new guys in the ward because apparently I was awesome and should not be single. I explained to him that James was coming over later that day -- "Ooooh! Do you think you could date him?"

I thought for a moment. "No..."

"Well, why not?" he demanded.

"Well... he's graduating and moving to Oregon for a few months."

"If you get married, you could transfer!"

I retorted, "Oregon doesn't have a neuroscience program! I'd have to start from scratch!"

"Ah. Well, if it's the right thing, it'll work out."

"Well I suppose so, but--"

"So he's leaving soon. That's not a good enough reason to not date him."

"Oh. You're right," I admitted, begrudgingly.

So I decided I wanted to date him. Which was good because when he came over that day, we made and ate biscuits and gravy, and cuddled, and kissed. And officially started dating only eight days after our first date. (That night in my journal, I was already so twitterpated, that I wrote, "I could see myself marrying this girl." She didn't know about this till a few days ago, of course... -James)

However, at that point, my friend Lisa was over. And she didn't like him. (One of the reasons being because he was too comfortable with me and she didn't like how he inserted himself into my life.) Well, dang. But we were pretty happy for the next couple of weeks. We spent several hours every day together. Once he brought me ice cream to work. I'd come visit him at lunches...

After the last couple of years, I've learned to recognize pretty quickly the facial expression that means, "I want to marry you, Jenna..." Six days after we had started dating, I saw it for sure on James' face. And then I did the unthinkable.

"James, what are you thinking?" (I caught myself thinking, he wants to marry me. Er... self, that is a rather arrogant thought. It's probably something else.) (Nope! Absolutely correct! -James)

His response: "Ummmm... I don't want to answer..." I felt his heart rate go way up, his breathing quickened, I noticed his hands get sweatier, and a rather interesting look appear on his face.

That was enough to verify rather than disprove my suspicions (Oooh, Self, you were right!), so I told him, "You don't have to tell me." But he wanted to. So, after several minutes of deep breathing and courage building, he finally said, "I was thinking that... that I'm sad I have to wait so long to propose." Because well... six days of dating is a little fast even for Provo.

To his relief I didn't immediately freak out and run away. I pointed out again that he was moving to Oregon and I couldn't come with him for at least another year. And he pointed out that although it wasn't ideal, it could still work out if it was right. True... but now I was thinking about whether or not I did want to marry James. Honestly, the idea did freak me out a little.

After about another week, I started to feel uncomfortable enough about the whole idea that I decided it would be prudent to break up with him. I prayed about it, and rather than clarifying my feelings, I just felt the same... not too great. The day when I finally built up the resolve and courage to do so was the day before he to London and then Tunisia on a research conference for a couple weeks.

And so... I did. I broke up with him. He wasn't very happy. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've never seen anybody so devastated in my life (at least right in front of my eyes). He just kind of sat there for a bit, then went into the bathroom to pray about it... came out again... "I should go." So he did.

I shut off all my lights and then crept into the bathroom to blow my nose. To my shock though, the window was open. And James hadn't just left. He was in the parking lot talking on the phone to his mom... I just kind of sat there under the window in a shock of some sort. I could hear his voice loud and clear. He finally left to go to work. And then I still sat underneath the window crying for a while. (I had to work at the hotel that night before my trip. I curled up in a ball on the floor and just lay there, depressed. I was SURE things were just going to work out eventually... It was very depressing. -James)

The next few weeks sucked. I oscillated between 1) the urge to get on a plane to Tunisia to find him and tell him we should get married, (She mentioned this one on her blog, which didn't help ME out any.... -James) and 2) the consolation that it probably was a good thing. I prayed about it more, even more earnestly, and everything I felt came into focus. My answer was clarified from just a general "Meeeeeh..." to a much better, "Well, you could totally marry him. If you wanted to."

And well, at the time I didn't. There wasn't really any good reason in my head for not wanting to, because I couldn't think of much that bothered me besides the speed of the relationship, the fact that we would have had to be apart for a year, and the trivial annoyance that he moved too much when we were cuddling sometimes. Still I didn't want to at the time. So I felt much better.

But then... James and I started to see each other again. The first time we saw each other again we went to a little Social Dance Club get together at the Malt Shoppe. It... was terribly awkward. I noticed again all the things I liked about him. Self, I thought. This is very strange. (That first night... Oh... I had thought I was mostly over her. I had been working on getting over her for a month after all. But, when I first saw her, it all came rushing back. I wanted to marry her, dang it, and I was willing to fight for her. And there was even a small chance it was something else I was fighting and not God's answer! -James)

But we kept seeing each other sometimes. For example, I'd see him at dance... and we'd dance... and I'd notice how much I liked being in his arms. And sometimes he would come over, because strangely enough, sometimes no one else besides him wanted to color or blow bubbles with me... Strange, Self. He likes to do a lot of the same things I do. And on Cow Appreciation Day, nobody else wanted to dress up like a cow to get free Chik-Fil-A (what the heck!?). And sometimes when I was not doing so well, I knew that at least I could turn to him for help. (For all these awesome fun things? I kept on thinking, "Dang it, girl, don't you see I'm the only one who wants to do these crazy things? Do you notice?" Sigh.... -James)

Sometime in early July, we talked some more about marriage. I clarified to him that I didn't feel good about it because I didn't want to marry him and not because God disapproved of the whole idea. I even told him that although right now I didn't really feel like marrying him, maybe after I graduated from BYU next year, things might be different and I'd feel differently. And then I could come up to Oregon to marry him. But at that point it was more musing aloud than actually seriously thinking about it. (Though, let me tell you, I couldn't have been happier. I mean, really, there WAS a chance? Amazing! It might have been a year away, but it was still there. Certainly encouraged me in my efforts! -James)

Last Sunday he wanted to go dance with me, but because I hadn't been feeling very well earlier that day, I instead invited him over to watch The Princess and the Frog at my place with a few other people. At some point he yoinked me over and we cuddled. This is probably a bad idea, Self. Oh, I know, Self, but it feels sooo good! After the movie we talked for a bit... and then it was midnight and thus time for him to leave. I got ready for bed... and then saw my phone blinking. James had messaged me suggesting we go on a walk. I thought about it briefly and accepted.

So we went walking up to the temple. But the grounds were already locked and such. So we found a bench in front of the MTC and just sat there talking for a while. Eventually our talk turned to the subject of marriage again. James admitted that he wanted to marry me. And me? Well, I admitted to him again (I'd told him before) that there was another guy I really liked.

To my shock, James was willing to play second fiddle for a while on the off-chance that I'd want to marry him eventually. This did not quite compute in my mind.

"This is crazy, James. Do you know how crazy this is? You know the odds are stacked WAY against your favor? I've liked this other guy so much for so long..." Plus, he's been one of my best friends for years.

"I know. It doesn't make any sense, I know. If you had told me a year ago that after dating a girl for two weeks, she'd break up with me, and then months later I'd be willing to be the second choice on the slim chance she won't marry her first choice, I'd call you crazy."

"It is crazy!" I replied. "Why in the heck would you do that?"

He got very serious. "Because you're amazing. And if marrying you means being second choice at first, I'll take it." (I meant every word. She IS amazing. I love her crazy much so. -James)

We eventually got home just after 5am... And I was pretty stressed out. As far as I could tell, my life was like a little Mormon soap opera. Ugh.

On Monday, I got a blessing of comfort from my sorta-brother Clifton... which basically affirmed what I already knew: both choices were good choices. I could marry James and it'd be good. Or I could pass up this opportunity and see what opportunities showed up during my last year at BYU. That would also be good. And I felt calm again. I had two very good, very different options.

On Tuesday I had an epiphany while I was at work. I was doing inventory in my section when my mind began to wander... I began to visualize my options in my head. And to my shock -- when I pictured myself marrying James I found myself grinning like a madwoman and deliriously happy inside. So I decided. Right then. I was a little terrified by my sudden change of heart and focus, but long ago I had decided that I should only make faith-based decisions and not fear-based ones. So I did my best to ignore my nerves.

Now I just had to talk to James. Which proved... well, pretty easy. He messaged me to ask if I was hungry... and I was. We went out for pizza. (And she ALMOST replied that she was going to dinner group. Silly woman! -James) And then we came to to my apartment and sat on the couch. We were not sitting very close...

"So what if we did get married?" I interrogated him with lots of questions about his career and other important matters... All satisfactory answers. Then we sat in silence for a bit.

I abruptly leaned over and cuddled him. Then I laid out the plan. "James. I'm going to the temple on Saturday morning. You should go to the temple sometime this week too. And as long as neither of us feel bad about this after that, let's get married." As far as I could tell, this took him completely by surprise. But he liked this plan so we did it. (My mind said, "WHAT THE.... HOLY HANNAH.... WHAT... BWA.... bwaaa.... breathe... .... ... ... ... YEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -James)

He went on Friday -- all was well. And I went on Saturday morning. And basically -- as soon as I sat down in the baptistry, I knew. So went I got out after a couple of hours, I could hardly drive back home I was so excited. And then I called him and told him that all was well... And after I hung up I danced around my apartment impatiently. (Sorry it took so long, I was already at the store. I just had to pick out the flowers.... -James)

Finally -- a knock on the door. I pull it open to find James down on one knee, with flowers and a ring. "Jenna, will you marry me?"

I grinned and bounced into his arms. "YES! Yes, I will, I will!"

And that's how it happened. :D (Crazy, ain't it? -James)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Almost Birthday

Today involved all of these items...







So today was a good day.

Curls

I think my hair is meant to be curlier than I'm letting it be. This is about what it looks like now...



And THIS is what I suspect it wants to be.



Ay caramba. This is going to take some work.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Bored.

I'm bored, but not this bored.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Bombs Bursting in Air

Fireworks are beautiful. Last night Lisa felt like driving so we drove down to Spanish Fork and then back. On the way back, we had a spectacular view from the freeway... It was gorgeous.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Kill Mode

I discovered tonight that I have a kill mode.

Lisa's apartment had a disgusting amount of flying insects in it. I decided to kill them all.



Okay, so it wasn't QUITE that explosive.

But there was ammunition. WINDEX. I shot them all down from the sky with a stream of deadly blue, and then drowned/poisoned them to death.

I was on a rampage. Every time I saw a bug my eyes dilated and focused right up on it... and I was on the hunt.

They all died. Every single one of them.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Excellent

Be excellent to each other. --Bill and Ted

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Dancing

I love dancing. I really do. I've been going to social dance club every week with Clifton. Which is fun, but...

Not nearly as fun as taking the dance classes! I crashed a 380 class today.

AND GUESS WHAT. There are extra guys. Which means -- everyone in that room would love it if I came every day. Betsey, the instructor, was like YEAH! TOTALLY COME EVERY DAY!

So. I will. Heart. <3

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Bubbles

Why don't more people find such pure joy in blowing bubbles? I know people like bubbles in general, but sometimes I wonder why they don't make people even HAPPIER. Bubbles are spherical joy...

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Yay!

Clifton taught me how to tie a tie today. It was awesome. I had bought a tie a couple years ago when he was around for freshman year, but I kept forgetting to ask him how to tie it.

And then he left on his mission. So now that he's back I asked him how. A little part of me is complete now.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Awesome Things From Today

1) Lemonade pie, courtesy of Elisa Andersen... Mix one can of frozen lemonade concentrate and one quart of vanilla ice cream. Put it in a graham cracker crust. Freeze. EXCELLENT.

2) I feel really cool when I move boxes ten times my size with a pallet jack. Like, strong and stuff.

3) Coloring books are super cool. Coloring with cool people is even cooler.

4) I like it when people feed me. For free.

5) Having a brother in Provo is. so. nice.

6) Realizing that xkcd's most important contribution in my life is this: I know check everywhere I go for potential velociraptor attack entry. http://xkcd.com/87/



7) This. And I quote, "Man, don't you feel like a friggin' GENIUS SCIENTIST when a recipe comes together the right way? You're the EINSTEIN OF POUNDCAKE. The NEWTON OF COOKIES. The CURIE OF RADIOACTIVE PIZZAS. Okay that last one was a bad analogy. But dang if baking ain't the tastiest science there is. This apron lets everybody around you know that YOU HAVE HARNESSED THE POWER OF BAKING and are NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH." This practically sums up my life in the kitchen.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Clifton is Back

And in Provo!

This IS glorious. Oh, I knew I missed him, but I kind of purposely trying to minimize it in my head to make it more tolerable. I spend a ton of time with him, and I'm so glad.

He still gets a surprised look on his face when I randomly exclaim "YOU'RE BACK! I'M SO GLAD!" Apparently even the cascade of letters I sent while he was gone was not enough to make him expect that.

Occasionally, if I think too hard about it, I get all teary-eyed. Teary eyes of joy.

"Was it really THAT bad when I was gone?"

"Yes," I responded.

"Oh."

I can talk to him WHENEVER I want. And even more exciting -- he can talk back whenever he wants. I can call him, text him, email him, visit him, hug him...

I'm so happy.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I think...

I think I had to pee while I was dreaming last night. In dreamstate, I awoke to find a bathroom. I was sleeping over at M8 because I had locked myself out of my own apartment...

On my quest to find the bathroom, I suddenly realized that M8 was a lot bigger than M10. Where M10 had a coat closet, M8 had a shiny white bathroom. I daintily used it. I noted that when I looked in the mirror I had long, wavy blonde hair. This confused me until decided I must have dyed and permed it and then just forgotten.

Then intrigued about the possibly of more differences in the apartment, I decided to explore some more. I went into the hall, and then saw that the hallway opened up into a vast, shiny, tiled room... Full of exotic plants. I went in, and found myself in the largest and most beautiful bathroom I'd ever seen...

There was a river of showers on the right side and a large waterfall bath on the left. On the far end of the bathroom was a curtained entry-way to MORE luxurious rooms... Of course, I investigated.

I found the most beautiful bedroom ever...

And ohmycrapthereisamanlivinghere!

An attractive man. He was blond, blue-eyed, and had perfect teeth.

He didn't notice me, but I watched him for a while. He wasn't doing very exciting things... paperwork (for what, I wonder?) and organizing.

I went back to the bathroom and then I went and found the real residents of M8... "Jane! There is a guy living back there!"

"Uh-huh, we know. It's only until he finds his wife."

"And how long is that?"

And then the man came in. "Jenna! I've looked all over for you!"

"For me?"

"Yes! You're my wife!"

I was confused. But he had paperwork that said I was supposed to marry him.



Strangely enough, I didn't feel very opinionated about the whole thing, so we had a quick marriage in the big bathroom.

And then we were supposed to have our honeymoon in the beautiful bedroom and apparently the tropical paradise behind that... but I suddenly decided I didn't really like him all that much. It was really awkward until I put something in his soda and he promptly fell asleep.

So I ran away in a flowing red dress with a blue umbrella into the stormy night...

And then I woke up because now I had to pee for real.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Welcome to Adulthood

Where DO all those bills come from?

I've been living off of very little for so long that I expected that working full-time this summer (for the first time in my life) would be easy in the financial department. But no, I can't really say that's what's really going on. Unexpected costs are popping up all over the place.

Take for example my glasses.

Two nights ago I sat on them and they are thoroughly unwearable. And now I need to pay for glasses. Gaugh!



Also medical bills, and a contract for fall/winter. My computer is fizzling out, and my flat iron has bit the dust. My jeans got holes in irreparable places, and my parents may need help paying for insurance. AND my car needs more antifreeze. I was hoping I wouldn't need student loans after working the whole summer through... but alas, I am pretty sure I'll need them anyway.

In brighter financial news, I got a 1/4 tuition scholarship and a 1/4 tuition grant... equaling a whole grand 1/2 tuition already paid for. That is a $4500 blessing.

Things are not all bad.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Meet the Ward

I have been in the BYU 11th Ward for approximately... let's see... one, two, three, four, five... ... ... FOURTEEN months. I am scheduled to stay until fall semester, making that SIXTEEN months. I... feel like moving away. So I didn't get another contract here.

Since then, I've been nervously waiting on waiting lists for other popular apartment complexes, such as Regency.

However... I just realized I need to stay in the ward. So, I will move into House, I think. I've lived almost EVERYWHERE on this one little block. Red brick, white brick, Linford, and now even House. Ha!

I have mixed feelings about staying the ward. See, I love the people.

But then there's a HUGE emphasis on getting married. Today church consisted of trying comfort our fears of getting married.



Um, I'm not afraid of getting married. I'm just not. And I don't really think the "problem" with the ward members is fear of marriage.

The problem isn't marriage. It's DATING. Which is prerequisite to marriage. Do you know how long it's been since ANY of the guys in my ward even bothered to ask me on a date?

January.

January!

It's not that the men in the ward don't know who I am. Believe me, I am well-known in my ward. Most people know who Jenna is. And the guys assure me that I'm attractive, both physically and personality-wise. It just so happens though, that I am rarely, if ever, asked on dates. (I should mention at least, that I did date a ward member for a couple months, but that was a while ago. He was the only ward member to show any interest in the entire fourteen months I've been here.)

The reason I mention this, or even noticed this, is because... the majority of the OTHER women in the ward feel the same way. The guys are fond of us, it seems, but it just hasn't occurred to them that they could DATE us.

And then they wonder why the female members of the 11th ward are ready to strangle each and every one of them...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Nana Jenna

I'm really excited to be old. I'm definitely going to be one hip old lady.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I feel like a cosine function today. Up and down... and on and on forever.

[edits made later to clarify originially unclear thoughts are in brackets]

dear blog,

I blatantly stole that intro from Rochelle's blog style, but chances are it will only be for today. Today I shall ramble because... I hurt inside.

About two weeks ago, I started dating James. Who is pretty much... awesome. And then yesterday, we stopped dating. Unfortunately (for me), he is STILL awesome. So I am a little bit miffed.

Especially because it makes me feel trigonometric. I... oscillate. One minute I'll be like... okay, okay, this [breaking up] is the right thing. And the next? I'm checking to see if I have enough money to hop on a plane and find him in London. Or Tunisia. He is in one of those places right now. The plane-hopping desires are probably not healthy. Or wise.

Ironically -- three weeks ago I hated boys because I hated being single.

Today I am single again, and... the idea of being un-single makes me feel a little nervous and uneasy. [I don't really want to date right now.] So I kind of hate boys for the opposite reason.

It is because of such occurrences that I have come to the conclusion that I, like all women, have no clue what I actually want. It is a darned good thing that I have a loving Father in Heaven who somehow DOES know what I want... [BECAUSE after some time of reflection I discovered that I am doing the right thing, because it IS what I want. It took a long time to figure it out. But God knew, even when my own confused, muddled feelings were too difficult to sort through.]

I am also worried about James, because I really care about him, and I really love it when he is happy. He was... unhappy when I last saw him. And I was too... hugely because he was sad and confused. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise that I will not see him for two weeks... I might take better care of myself than I would have otherwise.

I am worried about work... work work work. I'm a TA for a particularly challenging chemistry class. Analytical chemistry. I love the subject.

But sometimes I do not love the TA position. Usually these times include non-chemistry gifted students... I understand them, kind of. I will probably never be gifted at economics, or physics, or perhaps even organic chemistry...

I'm just worried that I'm dealing with them in entirely the wrong way! See, I wonder, for instance about the whole giving your students a fish/ teaching them to fish sort of thing. Most of the students don't know how to think in a way that is conducive to good chemistry work. My job isn't ACTUALLY to teach them chemistry. It's to teach them chemistry thinking skills.

I was also stressing out about how the class was split in two... The whole class can't fit in one lab room, so half are in the north lab and the others are in the south lab. I patrol the north lab to answer questions and concerns... These are my students.

I was a little freaked out when I started to notice a trend... the student on the other side were scoring higher on quizzes. And only students (and a fair number of them, actually) on my side failed to include important stuff in their lab notebooks.

So, for a short while, I was scared that this was occurring because I was a bad TA... and who knows, this could be it. It might actually be that somehow, the smarter students just happened to choose the south lab.

I felt better today when I saw that the students in my lab scored about 5-10 points higher than the students in the other lab. Did I feel super good about that? Actually... yes.

Am I prideful?

Yes, I think so. I require humbling.

Maybe I will clean my apartment this week. I have like clean cleaned it for a while. I crave the clean clean though, so I should do it. It will also be a good thing.

There are new men in the ward. Some of them are cute. I hate when that happens, especially when it means I am single and they can ask me on dates. Crap.

I still do not know where I am going to live for the next fall/winter. Also crap.

And, as of today, here is the rest of my school plans until I graduate. DUDE. It is close enough that I can plan this much. Also also crap.

Fall 2010: biochemistry 1, cell biology, advanced physiology lab, civilization 2/arts, university chorale, advanced social dance, and the second half of the D&C.

Winter 2011: biochemistry 2, bioethics, behavioral neuroscience, advanced neuroscience, neuroscience lab, advanced social dance, and the second half of the OT.

Spring & Summer 2011: human anatomy, statistics, civilization 1, first half of the D&C, and then perhaps one last semester of advanced social dance.

AUGUST 2011: GRADU-FREAKY-ATION!

Sound good to you? Me freaking too. But also also also crap. That is a LOT of science. Well... I do have to freaking FINISH MY MAJOR. And none of this science nonsense that I need is even offered for spring/summer. Sadness of days, indeed.

And what is also^4 crap? I have no clue what I'll do after graduation. I take comfort in planning my life out in as much detail as possible. And the way my life is going I also planned that Winter 2011 would be the worst time to be planning a wedding. So I've decided in my mortal wisdom that if I get married in 2011... it will have to be in January before that semester starts, or in September. Which might be pretty darned perfect... engagement pictures in spring would be good.

Unfortunately, this whole planning your wedding thing when you don't know who your eternal companion is or when you and him will get married is inherently flawed. This is also^5 crap. Nevertheless I picked out my wedding colors... erm... recently. Royal blue and pale gold. White and black accents. Classy? Yes.










But... besides colors... I don't want to think about weddings right now.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Hmmm... Hobbies?

It came to my attention as soon as I finished up this last semester that I really have no hobbies. This is a direct result of never having free time. How incredibly lame. Especially when you're on a date and guy asks, "So... what do you do in your free time?"

Yeah. I have no good answer. At all. Mostly I'd spend my time studying, sleeping, dancing, sleeping, studying, sleeping, and you know... eating. Nom nom nom.

In the last few school-less weeks, I've noticed a few other things I like to do with my free time.

1) Movies. I've been watching a movie nearly every night for a few months. Who knew?

2) Reading. I did like to do this when I was little. I've been craving a good read... and alas, I have no books.

3) People. I like finding people I love, listening to them, and doing what they want to do.

4) Coloring. I knew this. It just never came to mind as a hobby.

5) Writing. I also love to write, and so... I should do that more often.

6) Cooking/baking. I need to make a pie for May. It might have to be chocolate creme because I heart chocolate creme.

7) Others yet to be discovered...

I've still been super busy... except for homework... there isn't any. None. Whoa! As for work though, I love both my jobs. The Chemistry Central Stockroom is so wonderful. The manager, Gypzy, is so cool. And the assistant manager, Linda, is so sweet and maternal, it just makes me warm fuzzy. That place is just fun. I think I want to get those two Mother's Day presents. Because, um, they're cool. And they've been like mothers to me. I'm also a teaching assistant for analytical chemistry. I love that too.

Except when I get really dumb questions. Like when a student has a very obviously green solution, and pesters me, begging me to tell them if their solution is green. It seems like none of them have any confidence in the laboratory. (Well, that's an exaggeration... not all of them asked me color questions.)

And then one poor student was partially color blind, and really couldn't tell if his solution was a certain color or not. I was totally fed up with this kid, until he finally mentioned in a bit of embarrassment that no really -- he couldn't tell. Color blind! Yikes. That made me feel a bit bad...

Anything else exciting in my life?

... Oh, duh. Boyfriend! Eee! His name is James and he's fun, and smart, and exciting, and good-looking, and I like him, and he likes me, and he's got some mad skills. But I'm not one to go on and on and on about boys. I'm still not quite okay with this whole not being immune to crushes thing. And he is, however, leaving Provo in a few months... which does make me squirm a little. Squirm. Squirm. Squirm.

Okay, I'm done. I have to run out the door in seven minutes to get to work on time.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Hmmm...

So, ironically, my last post was entitled, I HATE BOYS. Because I was single and I hated it. But I'm not single anymore... Tengo un novio. Eeee! I think this means I should update this a little more often... Far too much happens in between updates. Sigh.

Monday, April 19, 2010

I Hate Boys

Well, that's not EXACTLY what I mean... I suppose I really mean "I hate being single"... Although I don't think that's quite it either.

I don't quite understand what I am feeling right now, actually.

My last break up was hard... but both Robby and I know we did the right thing. That just didn't make it any easier. In fact, it might have been a little harder for me, because although I knew it was right, I STILL can't come up with a reason why.

It was totally fine to talk to Robby and be around him after that. We'd still talk to each other and joke around and well -- it was almost exactly like before we dated: very good friends. Totally ideal.

I know he develops crushes easily, so I expected that once he got over me, he'd like another girl fairly quickly. But I didn't expect him to find a girl that liked him back so quickly -- seriously, that's just extreme luck! Mutual attraction is so rare around here, it seems!

And I am SO excited for him. SO excited.

But underneath that, there's another feeling...

Jealousy.

No, I'm not jealous that some other girl will get to have him. That's not it. No, that's not it at all. I don't want him back. But I AM jealous that he has someone and I don't.

I don't know what I was expecting to feel when I saw Robby with another girl, but this definitely wasn't it.

And then, as if that wasn't emotionally taxing enough -- an enormous portion of my female friends are leaving on missions. Excited for them? Absolutely. Jealous. Yes. I've always wanted to go on a mission... and it's not the right thing. Why? I don't know.

I'm emotionally wiped out.

So when I woke up this morning to discover that Jared (my first boyfriend) got engaged last night, guess how I felt?

That's right. Excited for him. But also VERY jealous that he has someone and I don't. And so, that was enough to tip the bucket.

I've been crying all morning.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Eeeeeee!

Erik Lovell is back. (He's a freshman friend.) And! Oh gosh, he'll be here for the spring term! That's so sooooon. Eee!

Even more ee-worthy?

Today I was helping out with the dance medals exams... when I ran across a Silver American for a Nathan Dudley. I swear my heartbeat doubled instantly. THIS IS CLIFTON'S LITTLE BROTHER. I NEED TO HUG THIS MAN. I could barely even type the data in and print off his certificate. Then I ran to go give it to him, when I realized that I'd forgotten his medal. So I ran back, grabbed it, and then found him.

"You're Clifton's brother?!"

"Yes, I am!"

I don't know how excited I looked, but I'm pretty sure it was pretty obvious, because Nathan said, "I don't know who you are, but HUG!"

And hug! It was sooo good! I haven't had any hugs like this since freshman year! (I swear all the talented huggers left after freshman year because I have been wistfully searching for such hugs since their departure.)

I finally explained myself, and he informed me that CLIFTON IS COMING TO PROVO FOR SUMMER TERM! Um, excitement? YES. Two extra months with brother? YES. I can hardly refrain from wiggling.

June 2010 is going to be the LONGEST month of my life.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Close to Home

So yesterday instead of doing homework, I went to a friend's family dinner. It was actually on a whim, because SOMEHOW her mother accidentally invited her brother's FHE sister. So, in an attempt to not make it awkward for the girl, my friend was to bring along a friend as well.

I loved it; her family is refreshingly nerdly.

However, one part of it hit rather close to home. Her family has been convinced since freshman year that she'll marry a certain missionary. And then he came back... and he didn't make any effort to date her or even be super good friends. She took this a little hard, because admittedly, she did kind of like him. And it really didn't help that he was super cute.

But some of her family members wouldn't let it go. The teasing and egging escalated until finally my friend broke down into tears, admitting that she really was very upset that since getting back from his mission, he hadn't shown any interest in dating her and begging everyone to please just stop talking about it.

Silence fell across the room. And then, almost obliviously, her grandfather asked if the guy had talked to her at all.

Bad move. All the women in the room shushed him violently, and next thing I know, my friend is dragging me out of the room. She drags me into the bathroom where she cries on my shoulder.

And it sunk in that I might be in the same boat not too long from now. My family (and actually, a good portion of my friends too... eek!!!) is pretty convinced I'm going to marry a certain guy too. I find it quite annoying. Even more annoying though, is the fact that I really do really like him and I STILL haven't gotten over it.

So it is far too easy to imagine myself in my friend's place. And while I hold her, I start tearing up too.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Should I Really Be a Doctor?

I don't know.

All the doctors I've been talking to lately just shake their heads and say it's not worth it. Get out while you possibly can. I shadowed Dr. Beus today and he says he tries to dissuade everyone from becoming a doctor now since the very start of this whole health care issue thing.

However, I told him a theory I had. There's already a shortage of doctors and dentists and all of these sorts of people--the health care bill will make it worse. So at some point the government will panic about there being a SEVERE shortage of doctors. And then, in desperation, they'll start paying qualified people like me to go to medical school. (Very bad for the national debt, but hey, I think medicine is my life calling, so I would totally take that.)

On the down side, both I and Dr. Beus foresee this panic only happening... like ten years or so from now. Gah.

Okay. Maybe I'll just get married, have some kids, grow them up fast, send 'em into the adult world, and then I'll go to medical school! Heh... Right.

Ah well.

So I'll be going into medicine right at the VERY worst time in history to do so. Please pray that I'll somehow find a way to pay for medical school and then be able to make money underneath all those taxes (and malpractice insurance payments and other costs associated with practicing) to be able to pay off my debts.

Sigh.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

It PASSED?!?!?!

I am SO mad right now. Furious, actually.

The health care bill passed. This is very, very, very, very bad. I also really, really, really, really want to swear right now. I just can't think of any other words that adequately express my rage.

This whole "now everyone can afford health care" thing? Swear word. That is the biggest load of bull I've heard in a long time. The bill costs half a trillion dollars--and guess who's going to pay for it? The taxpayers.

Ooh, ooh, I know! I have a bright idea! Since so many people can't afford health care, let's make the taxpayers pay for everyone's health care! Face in palm. Swear word. Shouldn't it be obvious? The patients who couldn't afford health insurance in the first place ARE the taxpayers, you dolts.

This national debt thing is something you should be worried about, because WE are supposed to be the ones paying for it. This is horrifying. The national debt goes up by about $75 million dollars every hour or so. It's going to go up even more quickly now... But nobody seems concerned about this, no. Of course not.

The benefit isn't going to the people or the medical workers -- it's going to the big insurance companies and the big pharmaceutical companies.

And really, this whole thing is HIGHLY unconstitutional. It "passed" through the House today. It shouldn't have. You're supposed to get 60% of the vote to pass, but they tweaked the rules so that 50% will pass it. Did the people vote on it? No. But it sure as heck is going to affect us big time. Health insurance is mandatory AND the cost of it is going up. Which means we all need to somehow get more money to pay for this.

Let's all just burn the Constitution, shall we? Load of good it's doing us now.

Oops.

I just slept through church. Gah!

This was purely accidental. One of my medicines kept me up until 5am, which wasn't so bad... I was wide awake and I got a TON of work done.

However, I was finally able to fall asleep and then I just didn't wake up... partly because my roommate didn't either.

I hate medicine and their dang side effects. :(

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Roommates

I like my roommate even though we have practically nothing in common besides the lack of a Y chromosome.

However, I HATE her friends.

I hate them.

Hate is an aggressive word. But I really, really, really don't like them. They're crude, rude, and SOMEHOW they ALL have obnoxious laughs and voices. Also they are all men. Women never visit my roommate except for visiting teaching, it seems like.

Just obnoxious men. And they all want to date her, but she won't because they're rude and crude. I will never understand how there can exist LDS men who think rape is funny. I never realized it until I had this roommate, but such scumbags exist.

But she cuddles with them and lets one kiss her on the cheek, so of course, they NEVER leave. If fact, I'm convinced that one that kisses her on the cheek is confident he'll win her over at some point. But from her behavior when he's gone, I can guarantee that she is NOT attracted to him in the slightest and half of what he does irks the heck out of her. So. Although it'll never happen, this obnoxious boy will never realize it because she allows all the physical affection. So he's here all the time, and probably won't realize that he's wasting his time for another half a year.

And then, when he's gone, my roommate will bring home ANOTHER guy who is equally obnoxious. It just keeps happening.

Arrrgggghhhh.

Frustration and loathing.

Friday, March 19, 2010

tgif

FRIDAY!
Oh heck. I am so GLAD it is finally the weekend.

Last night I accidentally locked my keys inside the break room at work -- which means I have no way to get inside my apartment or my car or more importantly, my mailbox. Furthermore, not only were my keys in there, so was my backpack -- which meant no homework either.

Eek.

Well, it turned out fine.

Although my roommate is almost NEVER home, her final draft of her thesis was due today, so she was home working on it, all night. So I could come and go without fear of getting locked out.

My o-chem professor is quite satanic sometimes. He gave a take-home quiz and had it due next class period on electron-pushing mechanisms. And then of course I locked it up so I couldn't work on it until this morning.

Well, I got my keys back and I got access to the quiz just 90 minutes before it was due... This is very bad practice. These suckers usually take forever and a day to figure out.

Thankfully, though, I figured out all but the last one on my own. And then the last one stumped me. But guess what? My TA Lauren just HAPPENED to be walking by when I was freaking out about it -- and then she sat next to me on the bench and guided me through it.

I ended up having extra time before class to read a page or two from the textbook.

Then, just as I started to get hungry?

Class starts. And then a boy behind me in lecture -- "Psst! Jenna! Jeeeeeennnnnnnnaaaa..."

I finally hear him and turn around. He was offering me an orange.

Umm... blessings upon him. I accepted the orange and savored it. It just got me through the day.

Other good things?

I had a homework assignment due yesterday evening, but I honestly didn't have time to do it. Thankfully though, you submit it electronically through Blackboard, and the computer grades it. And a loophole in the system? If you open the submission page before the deadline, you can submit it whenever you want, as long as your browser doesn't freak out and close it on you before you get to it. So... sweet. Things are good.

Also my neuroscience teacher told me that if I can't finish the paper by Wednesday, she'd extend the deadline for me.

Thank you, God. I needed all of the above.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Sigh.

Chi flat irons are the best there is. I love using a Chi on my hair... it makes such a difference. Gee, I sure wish I had one.

I got an email today saying that the flat iron I got a while back was a counterfeit.

I was surprised -- not that the iron was fake, because I already knew (I kept it because although it's not as good as the authentic, it's better than the one I had before, and I didn't pay much for it anyway).

The email was actually from the seller himself -- so that's why I was surprised. Usually if you buy a fake then you're doomed because the seller goes MIA after you figure it out.

I suppose that guy didn't know. He sounded embarrassed. He probably bought a whole bunch from a counterfeiter and then unknowingly sold a majillion fakes. Poor guy. I'm really impressed that he contacted his buyers to let them know and to extend them refunds.

Just in case you ever are looking into buying a Chi flat iron -- DON'T buy it online. 99% of them are fake. Plus I discovered today that it's illegal to sell them online. Farouk only allows them to be sold in professional salons -- anything is against the law. So if you didn't buy yours there, it's probably not real. Lame. Even worse, because the fakes are more likely to be shoddily made -- they can be dangerous.

I'm probably going to keep the fake flat iron though because... well, I don't have another one. And even with the refund I won't have anywhere NEAR the amount of cash I need to go buy myself a real one. So I'd just have slightly more cash and zero flat iron. Bah. I'll just keep the dang thing.

So... if you want to drop by a professional salon and buy me a real Chi flat iron (almost $200... dismay!), I'd appreciate it. Don't buy from anywhere else or you'll almost definitely be scammed. Just fyi.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Oh Dear

I found something very bad.
The Wok Shop

Do you know how BADLY I want a wok? And also a cleaver? Oh, they're cheap and good quality. Resist, Jenna, resist. You just have to wait long enough to get a wedding registry and then people who love you will buy you a wok as a wedding present. And also a cleaver.

Also I got a perfect score on my o-chem lab quiz today. Whoot! This is actually quite a feat. This morning I woke up with a runny nose and a sore throat... which was mightily inconvenient because I needed to go shadow an ENT doctor.

I called the scheduler guy at the doctor's office and he said, "STAY AWAY! Er... we don't want our patients or employees sick. Pllleeeeeaaasse stay away!"

So I did. Instead I went to the writing lab on campus and they looked at my second draft of my literature review (it's due in a week and a half -- be proud). Then I remembered that I really suck at the o-chem quizzes. So I went to talk to the TA and he showed me the light.

Hence my perfect score. I am a convert to this whole asking the TA for help thing. I owe my grade to Aaron Clark. I (very platonically) love that man.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Something That Makes Me Mad--So We're Going To Learn About Drugs

I found out something that makes me super upset. And to spread the info, I need to explain a bit of organic chemistry to you. Don't worry, you won't be tested on it, and it's only a very basic concept -- chirality, or literally, handedness of molecules.

Put your hands palm down, like so:



Notice that when you put one hand on top of the other, they aren't superimposable -- meaning that you can't put one directly on top of the other and have them match up identically. Instead you get a funny awkward turtle thing going on.



The reason they don't match up exactly is because they're mirror images of each other.

And of course, in chemistry we have our own special word for two molecules that are not the same, but mirror images of each other: enantiomers. No matter how you turn them and twist them, you can't make them the same.



So basically, with that under your belt, you only need to understand two more things.

1) You call one the R enantiomer and the other the S enantiomer. There are rules for figuring out which is which, but that doesn't matter so much. R and S have slightly different properties, but sometimes it doesn't matter which one you have.

2) When you have a mixture that is 50% R and 50% S you have what is called a racemic mixture.

Okay, with that basic explanation of some strange chemistry-nerd-talk... here's what makes me SUPER mad.

Citalopram (Celexa) is a racemic mixture of the R and S enantiomers: it's half of the stuff on the left and half of the stuff on the right. It cost me $4 to get a whole month's supply.

At the center of the molecule you'll see one arm darkened, which is shorthand for 3-D coming OUT of the screen.  The other arm with a dashed line is shorthand for 3-D going into the screen.The difference between these two molecules is switching the dark and dashed arms.

Escitalopram (Lexapro) is the S enantiomer ONLY -- just the one on the left. It cost me $50 to get a whole month's supply. They remarketed essentially the same thing to make money. That's right: they're just BARELY different enough to get a new patent.

And that's why I'm mad. The Doctor 1 prescribed me escitalopram. Doctor 2 switched me to citalopram because I couldn't afford escitalopram every month. ... I'm a little bit peeved at Doctor 1.

Also keep on the lookout for arcitalopram... that'll be JUST the R enantiomer I'll bet. And it won't EVEN be worth as much as it costs.

*Oh gosh. I can't help but explain the following because it's SO exciting. Really, arcitalopram won't ever be marketed. Apparently R-citalopram can work against S-citalopram to an extent... but not enough to prevent Celexa from being an effective antidepressant because S-citalopram (the good stuff) is 20 times stronger than the R-citalopram (the bad stuff). So really, Lexapro IS better. But $46 better?I think not.)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sigh.

I have not been able to do anything productive for a while. A lot of the reason is because I've been feeling uber sick again...

And I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Eek! Doctor!

Well, see, I'm frustrated because every time I go in to see a new doctor, they tell me something different. Chronic fatigue... depression... hypothyroid (even though they never catch it low)... fibromyalgia... migraines...

Oh, shut up now. I would like someone to tell me how they can help me instead of theorizing on all this junk.

I'm going in again. I'm not satisfied with this fibromyalgia junk. Whatever it is, I think it is getting worse.

My most bothersome symptoms lately? Bone pain. Fatigue. Weakness. Confusion. Nausea. Unintentional weight loss ... and more, but I scarcely think you are as curious as I am. I would not recommend typing those key words into Google. Only scary things pop up.

I'm just super frustrated about this whole medical issue. :(

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

My Latest Time-Wasting Mechanisms.

Grape Kool-Aid. I spend way too much time buying, mixing, drinking, and savoring it.

Music. Oh, this is a rather nasty culprit. Note the following playlist.




... And that is all.

My life is so full of time well-spent.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Sludge

Have I told you about sludge? I don't think I have. Today you get to learn a secret about my deep, dark habits.

Sludge is my breakfast every morning. It's yogurt (lemon or strawberry is best) with some omega-3 fatty acids poured in along with a lot of vegetable concentrate powder. I should take a picture of it. Ah, there. Doesn't look very appetizing, does it?



I heart sludge. Even though it looks positively disgusting and sometimes it IS kind of disgusting if you mix it with the wrong kind of yogurt. Some of you may have heard that I'm sick a lot. This is true. And that's why I eat the stuff... I tend to feel like a normal human being when I eat it. The omega-3 and the food concentrate powder is expensive so I wouldn't recommend it unless you're also super sick all the time too.

Scientists don't know much about fibromyalgia... but one thing that they say helps is the omega-3 stuff. So I tried that, and it DOES. I put in it yogurt with the whole food concentrate because if you take just the omega-3 all by itself you can get pretty nauseous (just like if you take a multivitamin). I chose vegetable powder because (1) those are the sort of nutrients that help absorption of omega-3's and (2) I don't eat enough vegetables anyway.

So there. Besides breakfast, I eat like a normal college student for the rest of the day, but I feel a lot better. If I forget to eat my sludge in the morning, I can't stop thinking about it all day. I don't know if it actually DOES taste as good as I think it does, but I'm pretty certain all those little Jenna-cells all do high-fives in excitement when I pull out the sludge in the morning.

See, I do have a few peculiar habits.

I just licked the bowl. Mmmm.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Those Little Joys

I am almost caught in my school work. I've been chronically behind since around the end of January... This is in stark contrast to the beginning of the semester where I had all my homework done a day or two ahead of time. I promise you that that was all Robby's fault.

And then we broke up and I was a little depressed, so even though I had MORE time than I had had before the break up, I chose to spend my time for the following week sulking in my blankets instead of doing my homework. I feel like that one stupid choice directly led to my being so behind this month.

Because then the fibromyalgia hit -- unexpectedly. I got food poisoning, and my body freaked out... so I suspect that that was the trigger this time.

But guess what? I am only behind in one of my classes now instead of all of them. Hooray! And the one class I'm behind in... I have a blessedly merciful teacher. She also has fibromyalgia and understands perfectly.

If I can just get caught up this weekend, then I won't be behind anymore, and my stress levels will be drastically reduced. Whoo!

I'm off to hang around on campus all day in an effort to remedy all this being horribly behind on schoolwork business. Wish me luck!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Oh, the Horror

I now come to a rather odd subject to blog about, but I am truly traumatized right now. Once I prided myself on my beautiful punctuation skills.

However, we just had a presentation on punctuation today in my Writing in Neuroscience class. And when I say I'm horrified I mean that I just discovered that I have been using my favorite punctuation mark (the em dash) incorrectly. Furthermore, I was shocked to realize that I do not actually know everything there is to know about commas.

"According to most American sources (e.g., The Chicago Manual of Style) and to some British sources (e.g., The Oxford Guide to Style), an em dash should always be set closed (not surrounded by spaces)."


Um, I have always surrounded my em dashes with spaces. Apparently, this is wrong. Take, for instance, a line from a previous entry:

All four of us jumped sky high — Mom accidentally punched Dad in the face and inadvertently dropped baby's feet into the pile of poop that was suddenly there.


When, really, if I were punctuatorily correct, it would read:

All four of us jumped sky high—Mom accidentally punched Dad in the face and inadvertently dropped baby's feet into the pile of poop that was suddenly there.


Furthermore, I have been occasionally been using hyphens in place of en dashes. I may or may not cry.

Here we come to a comma shocker.

Supposedly the following two sentences are incorrect:

December 19, 2002 was the day I had my spinal fusion surgery. Phoenix, Arizona is the place where it occurred.


Do you know why those are wrong? Are you stumped, as I was?

Here are the supposedly correct methods of punctuating those sentences:

December 19, 2002, was the day I had my spinal fusion surgery. Phoenix, Arizona, is the place where it occurred.


That just looks and feels so... so... wrong to me. However, the style manuals all assure that this is correct. The year and the state are to be treated as parenthetical. Because they are "nonessential elements" in their own special way... You could just remove 2002 and Arizona from those sentences altogether.

Sick. I am no longer the grammar/punctuation champ I thought I was.

Shoot me!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Projectile Poop

Sometimes you see some pretty interesting things in the doctor's office.

Today two new parents came in with their four-day-old. They were concerned because he'd been constipated for two days. Um -- that's half of his life.

And from the look on that baby's face -- he was none too happy about it.

So Dr. Harrison went through the usual advice about what to do about constipated infants, and then mentioned that sometimes rectal stimulation can help a little with babies. We put baby Tristan on the table, opened up the diaper, and Dr. Harrison stimulated his rectum. This involves sticking a Q-tip up his butt and swishing it around. Usually this will encourage the sphincter muscle to work correctly within a few minutes.

However, Tristan had only endured the Q-tip up his butt for a few seconds when --

SQUIRT! All four of us jumped sky high -- the mom accidently punched dad in the face, and accidentally dropped baby's feet into the pile of poop that was suddenly there.

It was like a cannon. His diaper was filled with ooey gooey brown stuff. Well, apparently he wasn't constipated any more. And he had only gotten started. We had only barely recovered from the first instance of projectile poop when little Tristan happily started to push out the mother lode. It appeared to be pure satisfaction.

Fortune smiled upon those parents. We had extra diapers in the office.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Second

I'm posting again already. Yay for my ONE follower. I am hearting you, Allison.

But see, here's the thing. I have a crisis in my hands. I have never ever been so VASTLY aware of how FEMALE I am. I wouldn't say this is a bad thing per se. It's just that... well...

I've always been... kind of behind the times when it comes to being girly. I didn't much see the point of dolls... except that I would pit them against each other in epic battles. And then I didn't really CARE about boys. In fact, I took pride in the fact that I was immune to "crushes". These things were like diseases rampant among all my peers -- diseases, because they only cause trouble. I even kind of liked the game where everyone gangs up on you and asks you who you like -- because although no one ever believed me when I told them no one, I felt a little superior knowing deep inside that I really was telling the truth when I said I didn't like anyone.

Then I came to BYU, and wha-blammy!

Somehow I just haven't been immune any more. First boy I met: major crush. And I mean MAJOR.

It took me approximately three weeks to finally realize what had happened: I, Jenna, was indeed, love's next casualty.

I was devastated -- so devastated in fact, that I curled up on the couch in fetal position and sobbed. I like somebody? How is this possible? Why now? And WHY couldn't it have waited until AFTER freshman year when all the guys in my ward would be return missionaries. NOT premies -- who are all tragically and permanently unavailable (well, three years IS forever).

Even worse? My roommate came out into the kitchen where the couch was and, as she began to cook, glanced over at me knowingly and asked, "A boy?"

I nodded and started to cry even harder. I'm so tragically NORMAL now. She didn't even have to ask... because boys are what EVERY girl cries about ALL the time. And then, sniffling, I took comfort in the remembrance that people supposedly get over their crushes, and then life goes back to normal, and everything is peachy again until the next crush.

Unfortunately though, I am beginning to wonder if I'm immune to the getting-over-it phase...

But I can deal with that.

It's the latest occurrence that worries me, and it doesn't have anything to do with boys (except... well, you know...): children.

I started noticing it as I was shadowing Dr. Harrison. She's a family practice doctor, but she also does a lot of obstetrics and pediatrics as part of that. Which means, when I'm shadowing her, I also see a lot of pregnant women and a lot of small children.

And, oh. This is even WORSE than the falling in love gig. The boy thing is bearable once you actually find somebody you want to date that also wants to date you...

The baby thing is a BAD bug to catch, in my opinion. I mean, BLAST! I don't LIKE that weird little feeling I get when I see small children. It makes me a little uncomfortable, honestly, because there is nothing I can do about it currently except 1) ignore it, or 2) make fun of it and then hope it gets embarrassed and runs away.

I mean, kids will SOMEDAY be an option but prerequisite to it becoming an option includes 1) finding a guy who likes me well enough to propose, 2) me actually saying "YES!" and then 3) not getting too scared to take it back, and finally 4) me and him saying "I do" on wedding day. And then who knows how long it'll be after that.

However long it is, thanks to the screaming oxytocin coursing through my system, a significant portion of my being thinks it is FAR too long. I see a baby and I want to steal. And then the pregnant women -- pure envy.

Perhaps my female peers will understand. I certainly don't.

The First

I feel like starting a blog. It is currently just before 8 in the morning, and I should be doing some organic chemistry. But then, of course, who would rather do that than start a blog?

Probably no one.

However, I don't really feel like formatting my blog just yet. Y'all will have to be satisfied with a template.

Yesterday I tested in the mambo, and I probably looked pretty sharp. But the mambo is so furiously fast that I felt a little desperate as I was dancing it. Especially in the peek-a-boo... kick, flick, spin, arm up, pose! spin out, kick, flick, arm out, pose! I would estimate that I scored around an 85%. Marci said that I had a good knowledge of the moves, but I tend to want to break on count 1 instead of 2, and that I definitely need more knees and hip action. On the bright side, I'm sure I looked DANG attractive, so who cares -- besides my instructor?

Besides mambo, I kicked trash in the genetics exam -- 96%. So I am hoping that the one homework assignment I just FORGOT to turn in (I did it though!) won't hurt my grade too badly.

And I don't feel too sick today. So I'm going to go to class and to work and all that jazz. And today will just be good. Whoo hoo!