Projectile Poop

Sometimes you see some pretty interesting things in the doctor's office.

Today two new parents came in with their four-day-old. They were concerned because he'd been constipated for two days. Um -- that's half of his life.

And from the look on that baby's face -- he was none too happy about it.

So Dr. Harrison went through the usual advice about what to do about constipated infants, and then mentioned that sometimes rectal stimulation can help a little with babies. We put baby Tristan on the table, opened up the diaper, and Dr. Harrison stimulated his rectum. This involves sticking a Q-tip up his butt and swishing it around. Usually this will encourage the sphincter muscle to work correctly within a few minutes.

However, Tristan had only endured the Q-tip up his butt for a few seconds when --

SQUIRT! All four of us jumped sky high -- the mom accidently punched dad in the face, and accidentally dropped baby's feet into the pile of poop that was suddenly there.

It was like a cannon. His diaper was filled with ooey gooey brown stuff. Well, apparently he wasn't constipated any more. And he had only gotten started. We had only barely recovered from the first instance of projectile poop when little Tristan happily started to push out the mother lode. It appeared to be pure satisfaction.

Fortune smiled upon those parents. We had extra diapers in the office.