Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Erik Lovell is back. (He's a freshman friend.) And! Oh gosh, he'll be here for the spring term! That's so sooooon. Eee!

Even more ee-worthy?

Today I was helping out with the dance medals exams... when I ran across a Silver American for a Nathan Dudley. I swear my heartbeat doubled instantly. THIS IS CLIFTON'S LITTLE BROTHER. I NEED TO HUG THIS MAN. I could barely even type the data in and print off his certificate. Then I ran to go give it to him, when I realized that I'd forgotten his medal. So I ran back, grabbed it, and then found him.

"You're Clifton's brother?!"

"Yes, I am!"

I don't know how excited I looked, but I'm pretty sure it was pretty obvious, because Nathan said, "I don't know who you are, but HUG!"

And hug! It was sooo good! I haven't had any hugs like this since freshman year! (I swear all the talented huggers left after freshman year because I have been wistfully searching for such hugs since their departure.)

I finally explained myself, and he informed me that CLIFTON IS COMING TO PROVO FOR SUMMER TERM! Um, excitement? YES. Two extra months with brother? YES. I can hardly refrain from wiggling.

June 2010 is going to be the LONGEST month of my life.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Close to Home

So yesterday instead of doing homework, I went to a friend's family dinner. It was actually on a whim, because SOMEHOW her mother accidentally invited her brother's FHE sister. So, in an attempt to not make it awkward for the girl, my friend was to bring along a friend as well.

I loved it; her family is refreshingly nerdly.

However, one part of it hit rather close to home. Her family has been convinced since freshman year that she'll marry a certain missionary. And then he came back... and he didn't make any effort to date her or even be super good friends. She took this a little hard, because admittedly, she did kind of like him. And it really didn't help that he was super cute.

But some of her family members wouldn't let it go. The teasing and egging escalated until finally my friend broke down into tears, admitting that she really was very upset that since getting back from his mission, he hadn't shown any interest in dating her and begging everyone to please just stop talking about it.

Silence fell across the room. And then, almost obliviously, her grandfather asked if the guy had talked to her at all.

Bad move. All the women in the room shushed him violently, and next thing I know, my friend is dragging me out of the room. She drags me into the bathroom where she cries on my shoulder.

And it sunk in that I might be in the same boat not too long from now. My family (and actually, a good portion of my friends too... eek!!!) is pretty convinced I'm going to marry a certain guy too. I find it quite annoying. Even more annoying though, is the fact that I really do really like him and I STILL haven't gotten over it.

So it is far too easy to imagine myself in my friend's place. And while I hold her, I start tearing up too.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Should I Really Be a Doctor?

I don't know.

All the doctors I've been talking to lately just shake their heads and say it's not worth it. Get out while you possibly can. I shadowed Dr. Beus today and he says he tries to dissuade everyone from becoming a doctor now since the very start of this whole health care issue thing.

However, I told him a theory I had. There's already a shortage of doctors and dentists and all of these sorts of people--the health care bill will make it worse. So at some point the government will panic about there being a SEVERE shortage of doctors. And then, in desperation, they'll start paying qualified people like me to go to medical school. (Very bad for the national debt, but hey, I think medicine is my life calling, so I would totally take that.)

On the down side, both I and Dr. Beus foresee this panic only happening... like ten years or so from now. Gah.

Okay. Maybe I'll just get married, have some kids, grow them up fast, send 'em into the adult world, and then I'll go to medical school! Heh... Right.

Ah well.

So I'll be going into medicine right at the VERY worst time in history to do so. Please pray that I'll somehow find a way to pay for medical school and then be able to make money underneath all those taxes (and malpractice insurance payments and other costs associated with practicing) to be able to pay off my debts.


Sunday, March 21, 2010

It PASSED?!?!?!

I am SO mad right now. Furious, actually.

The health care bill passed. This is very, very, very, very bad. I also really, really, really, really want to swear right now. I just can't think of any other words that adequately express my rage.

This whole "now everyone can afford health care" thing? Swear word. That is the biggest load of bull I've heard in a long time. The bill costs half a trillion dollars--and guess who's going to pay for it? The taxpayers.

Ooh, ooh, I know! I have a bright idea! Since so many people can't afford health care, let's make the taxpayers pay for everyone's health care! Face in palm. Swear word. Shouldn't it be obvious? The patients who couldn't afford health insurance in the first place ARE the taxpayers, you dolts.

This national debt thing is something you should be worried about, because WE are supposed to be the ones paying for it. This is horrifying. The national debt goes up by about $75 million dollars every hour or so. It's going to go up even more quickly now... But nobody seems concerned about this, no. Of course not.

The benefit isn't going to the people or the medical workers -- it's going to the big insurance companies and the big pharmaceutical companies.

And really, this whole thing is HIGHLY unconstitutional. It "passed" through the House today. It shouldn't have. You're supposed to get 60% of the vote to pass, but they tweaked the rules so that 50% will pass it. Did the people vote on it? No. But it sure as heck is going to affect us big time. Health insurance is mandatory AND the cost of it is going up. Which means we all need to somehow get more money to pay for this.

Let's all just burn the Constitution, shall we? Load of good it's doing us now.


I just slept through church. Gah!

This was purely accidental. One of my medicines kept me up until 5am, which wasn't so bad... I was wide awake and I got a TON of work done.

However, I was finally able to fall asleep and then I just didn't wake up... partly because my roommate didn't either.

I hate medicine and their dang side effects. :(

Saturday, March 20, 2010


I like my roommate even though we have practically nothing in common besides the lack of a Y chromosome.

However, I HATE her friends.

I hate them.

Hate is an aggressive word. But I really, really, really don't like them. They're crude, rude, and SOMEHOW they ALL have obnoxious laughs and voices. Also they are all men. Women never visit my roommate except for visiting teaching, it seems like.

Just obnoxious men. And they all want to date her, but she won't because they're rude and crude. I will never understand how there can exist LDS men who think rape is funny. I never realized it until I had this roommate, but such scumbags exist.

But she cuddles with them and lets one kiss her on the cheek, so of course, they NEVER leave. If fact, I'm convinced that one that kisses her on the cheek is confident he'll win her over at some point. But from her behavior when he's gone, I can guarantee that she is NOT attracted to him in the slightest and half of what he does irks the heck out of her. So. Although it'll never happen, this obnoxious boy will never realize it because she allows all the physical affection. So he's here all the time, and probably won't realize that he's wasting his time for another half a year.

And then, when he's gone, my roommate will bring home ANOTHER guy who is equally obnoxious. It just keeps happening.


Frustration and loathing.

Friday, March 19, 2010


Oh heck. I am so GLAD it is finally the weekend.

Last night I accidentally locked my keys inside the break room at work -- which means I have no way to get inside my apartment or my car or more importantly, my mailbox. Furthermore, not only were my keys in there, so was my backpack -- which meant no homework either.


Well, it turned out fine.

Although my roommate is almost NEVER home, her final draft of her thesis was due today, so she was home working on it, all night. So I could come and go without fear of getting locked out.

My o-chem professor is quite satanic sometimes. He gave a take-home quiz and had it due next class period on electron-pushing mechanisms. And then of course I locked it up so I couldn't work on it until this morning.

Well, I got my keys back and I got access to the quiz just 90 minutes before it was due... This is very bad practice. These suckers usually take forever and a day to figure out.

Thankfully, though, I figured out all but the last one on my own. And then the last one stumped me. But guess what? My TA Lauren just HAPPENED to be walking by when I was freaking out about it -- and then she sat next to me on the bench and guided me through it.

I ended up having extra time before class to read a page or two from the textbook.

Then, just as I started to get hungry?

Class starts. And then a boy behind me in lecture -- "Psst! Jenna! Jeeeeeennnnnnnnaaaa..."

I finally hear him and turn around. He was offering me an orange.

Umm... blessings upon him. I accepted the orange and savored it. It just got me through the day.

Other good things?

I had a homework assignment due yesterday evening, but I honestly didn't have time to do it. Thankfully though, you submit it electronically through Blackboard, and the computer grades it. And a loophole in the system? If you open the submission page before the deadline, you can submit it whenever you want, as long as your browser doesn't freak out and close it on you before you get to it. So... sweet. Things are good.

Also my neuroscience teacher told me that if I can't finish the paper by Wednesday, she'd extend the deadline for me.

Thank you, God. I needed all of the above.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Chi flat irons are the best there is. I love using a Chi on my hair... it makes such a difference. Gee, I sure wish I had one.

I got an email today saying that the flat iron I got a while back was a counterfeit.

I was surprised -- not that the iron was fake, because I already knew (I kept it because although it's not as good as the authentic, it's better than the one I had before, and I didn't pay much for it anyway).

The email was actually from the seller himself -- so that's why I was surprised. Usually if you buy a fake then you're doomed because the seller goes MIA after you figure it out.

I suppose that guy didn't know. He sounded embarrassed. He probably bought a whole bunch from a counterfeiter and then unknowingly sold a majillion fakes. Poor guy. I'm really impressed that he contacted his buyers to let them know and to extend them refunds.

Just in case you ever are looking into buying a Chi flat iron -- DON'T buy it online. 99% of them are fake. Plus I discovered today that it's illegal to sell them online. Farouk only allows them to be sold in professional salons -- anything is against the law. So if you didn't buy yours there, it's probably not real. Lame. Even worse, because the fakes are more likely to be shoddily made -- they can be dangerous.

I'm probably going to keep the fake flat iron though because... well, I don't have another one. And even with the refund I won't have anywhere NEAR the amount of cash I need to go buy myself a real one. So I'd just have slightly more cash and zero flat iron. Bah. I'll just keep the dang thing.

So... if you want to drop by a professional salon and buy me a real Chi flat iron (almost $200... dismay!), I'd appreciate it. Don't buy from anywhere else or you'll almost definitely be scammed. Just fyi.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Oh Dear

I found something very bad.
The Wok Shop

Do you know how BADLY I want a wok? And also a cleaver? Oh, they're cheap and good quality. Resist, Jenna, resist. You just have to wait long enough to get a wedding registry and then people who love you will buy you a wok as a wedding present. And also a cleaver.

Also I got a perfect score on my o-chem lab quiz today. Whoot! This is actually quite a feat. This morning I woke up with a runny nose and a sore throat... which was mightily inconvenient because I needed to go shadow an ENT doctor.

I called the scheduler guy at the doctor's office and he said, "STAY AWAY! Er... we don't want our patients or employees sick. Pllleeeeeaaasse stay away!"

So I did. Instead I went to the writing lab on campus and they looked at my second draft of my literature review (it's due in a week and a half -- be proud). Then I remembered that I really suck at the o-chem quizzes. So I went to talk to the TA and he showed me the light.

Hence my perfect score. I am a convert to this whole asking the TA for help thing. I owe my grade to Aaron Clark. I (very platonically) love that man.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Something That Makes Me Mad--So We're Going To Learn About Drugs

I found out something that makes me super upset. And to spread the info, I need to explain a bit of organic chemistry to you. Don't worry, you won't be tested on it, and it's only a very basic concept -- chirality, or literally, handedness of molecules.

Put your hands palm down, like so:

Notice that when you put one hand on top of the other, they aren't superimposable -- meaning that you can't put one directly on top of the other and have them match up identically. Instead you get a funny awkward turtle thing going on.

The reason they don't match up exactly is because they're mirror images of each other.

And of course, in chemistry we have our own special word for two molecules that are not the same, but mirror images of each other: enantiomers. No matter how you turn them and twist them, you can't make them the same.

So basically, with that under your belt, you only need to understand two more things.

1) You call one the R enantiomer and the other the S enantiomer. There are rules for figuring out which is which, but that doesn't matter so much. R and S have slightly different properties, but sometimes it doesn't matter which one you have.

2) When you have a mixture that is 50% R and 50% S you have what is called a racemic mixture.

Okay, with that basic explanation of some strange chemistry-nerd-talk... here's what makes me SUPER mad.

Citalopram (Celexa) is a racemic mixture of the R and S enantiomers: it's half of the stuff on the left and half of the stuff on the right. It cost me $4 to get a whole month's supply.

At the center of the molecule you'll see one arm darkened, which is shorthand for 3-D coming OUT of the screen.  The other arm with a dashed line is shorthand for 3-D going into the screen.The difference between these two molecules is switching the dark and dashed arms.

Escitalopram (Lexapro) is the S enantiomer ONLY -- just the one on the left. It cost me $50 to get a whole month's supply. They remarketed essentially the same thing to make money. That's right: they're just BARELY different enough to get a new patent.

And that's why I'm mad. The Doctor 1 prescribed me escitalopram. Doctor 2 switched me to citalopram because I couldn't afford escitalopram every month. ... I'm a little bit peeved at Doctor 1.

Also keep on the lookout for arcitalopram... that'll be JUST the R enantiomer I'll bet. And it won't EVEN be worth as much as it costs.

*Oh gosh. I can't help but explain the following because it's SO exciting. Really, arcitalopram won't ever be marketed. Apparently R-citalopram can work against S-citalopram to an extent... but not enough to prevent Celexa from being an effective antidepressant because S-citalopram (the good stuff) is 20 times stronger than the R-citalopram (the bad stuff). So really, Lexapro IS better. But $46 better?I think not.)

Thursday, March 11, 2010


I have not been able to do anything productive for a while. A lot of the reason is because I've been feeling uber sick again...

And I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Eek! Doctor!

Well, see, I'm frustrated because every time I go in to see a new doctor, they tell me something different. Chronic fatigue... depression... hypothyroid (even though they never catch it low)... fibromyalgia... migraines...

Oh, shut up now. I would like someone to tell me how they can help me instead of theorizing on all this junk.

I'm going in again. I'm not satisfied with this fibromyalgia junk. Whatever it is, I think it is getting worse.

My most bothersome symptoms lately? Bone pain. Fatigue. Weakness. Confusion. Nausea. Unintentional weight loss ... and more, but I scarcely think you are as curious as I am. I would not recommend typing those key words into Google. Only scary things pop up.

I'm just super frustrated about this whole medical issue. :(

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

My Latest Time-Wasting Mechanisms.

Grape Kool-Aid. I spend way too much time buying, mixing, drinking, and savoring it.

Music. Oh, this is a rather nasty culprit. Note the following playlist.

... And that is all.

My life is so full of time well-spent.

Monday, March 1, 2010


Have I told you about sludge? I don't think I have. Today you get to learn a secret about my deep, dark habits.

Sludge is my breakfast every morning. It's yogurt (lemon or strawberry is best) with some omega-3 fatty acids poured in along with a lot of vegetable concentrate powder. I should take a picture of it. Ah, there. Doesn't look very appetizing, does it?

I heart sludge. Even though it looks positively disgusting and sometimes it IS kind of disgusting if you mix it with the wrong kind of yogurt. Some of you may have heard that I'm sick a lot. This is true. And that's why I eat the stuff... I tend to feel like a normal human being when I eat it. The omega-3 and the food concentrate powder is expensive so I wouldn't recommend it unless you're also super sick all the time too.

Scientists don't know much about fibromyalgia... but one thing that they say helps is the omega-3 stuff. So I tried that, and it DOES. I put in it yogurt with the whole food concentrate because if you take just the omega-3 all by itself you can get pretty nauseous (just like if you take a multivitamin). I chose vegetable powder because (1) those are the sort of nutrients that help absorption of omega-3's and (2) I don't eat enough vegetables anyway.

So there. Besides breakfast, I eat like a normal college student for the rest of the day, but I feel a lot better. If I forget to eat my sludge in the morning, I can't stop thinking about it all day. I don't know if it actually DOES taste as good as I think it does, but I'm pretty certain all those little Jenna-cells all do high-fives in excitement when I pull out the sludge in the morning.

See, I do have a few peculiar habits.

I just licked the bowl. Mmmm.